i have struggled with my singleness for a majority of my life. i have always wanted a boyfriend but have never had one. and it's not always easy to see your friends dating, in relationships, getting engaged or married, all while you have a non-existent love life. but as i have gotten older, i'm starting to accept myself and who i am in my single state. i still struggle with being single sometimes but i'm starting to realize that my identity is not rooted in who i am dating or what my relationship status is.
for most of my life, i have defined myself by many things; daughter, sister, auntie, granddaughter, friend, student, and dancer. but one sunny easter morning, i received the most important identity of my life, a daughter of the highest King who loves me beyond compare. four years later i'm still trying to accept my newfound, true identity, but i know that nothing can take that away from me. God is mine, and I am His. and nothing will separate Him and His love for me.
and while i am so thankful for this identity full of grace and unfailing love from God, i can easily forget who i am when i hear any one of the following questions/statements:
- "do you have a boyfriend?"
- "why aren't you dating anyone?"
- "boys will be lining up around the block for you when you get older" (yes, people really told me this... such lies!!!)
- "how can a (beautiful/sweet/funny/other adjectives here) girl like you still be single?!"
i become that girl who, despite being ridiculously funny, talented or whatever, is defined by my relationship status. i'm sure that people don't mean to cause any harm when they ask if you are dating anyone, but when you ask those kinds of questions to someone who always thought that her value was based on if she was in a relationship or not, it makes them feel like they aren't a complete person. like my life cannot possibly be wonderful, fun or exciting because i am by myself.
my life may not yet be "complete" with a husband or children, but my life is full of many wonderful things. just read my last blog about what i have accomplished in the past few years! and i am going to try my best to not let anyone make me think that i am less of a person because i am single. so from now on, whenever someone asks me if i am dating someone, i will boldly and proudly say with a smile on my face, "no, for now, i am single." because i know that i already have a love that will never fail, fade or change. i am loved by my Father for now and forevermore!
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